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Monday, October 6th, 2003
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::15 Random Favorites (in no particular order)::
01. jackie
02. upside down 7-up
03. sleeping
04. cuddling/kissing/hugging
05. music
06. sunsets
07. snow
08. laughing
09. night time
10. pizza
11. nature
12. looking good
13. pictures
14. blue eyes
15. movies
::14 Favorite Foods/Drinks::
01. upside down 7-up
02. pizza
03. chipolte
04. cinnamon crunch bagels
05. spaghetti pizza
06. trix yogurt
07. cheddar goldfish
08. milk
09. orange juice
10. peanut butter and jelly
11. omelets
12. grilled cheese
13. cookies
14. anything my mom makes
::13 Most Watched Shows::
01. simpsons
02. trading spaces
03. snl
04. conan obrien
05. cable 12
06. football
07. hang time
08. real world/road rules
09. mtv in general
10. disney channel movies
11.
12.
13.
::12 Good Bands/Musicans In Your Opinion::
01. beastie boys
02. every time i die
03. dashboard confessional
04. oasis
05. yellowcard
06. finch
07. taking back sunday
08. saves the day
09. hopesfall
10. jimmy eat world
11. justin timberlake
12. mars ill
::10 Favorite People (no particular order)::
01. lil jax
02. oc
03. parents
04. waltmann
05. evan
06. karl kittelson
07. connor kelly
08. preston
09. my brother luke/nephew
10. my manger at dominos
::9 Things You're Looking Forward To::
01. a family
02. a house
03. school
04. every day til next fall
05. fall and halloween
06. winter/snowboarding
07. playing music again
08. spring break
09. a hug
::8 Things You Wear Daily::
01. earrings
02. glasses
03. boxers
04. hat
05. jeans
06. nike shoes
07. a smile
08. retainer
::07 Things That Annoy You::
01. slow drivers
02. annoying people
03. drunk people
04. smoking
05. school
06. my mom
07. work
::6 Things You Touch Every Day::
01. my hair
02. keys
03. jackie if im lucky
04. clothes
05. my penis
06. phone
::5 Movies You Could Watch Over and Over::
01. rounders
02. heavyweights
03. a night at the roxbury
04. .
05. .
::4 Of Your Favorite Toys When You Were Little::
01. trees
02. bike
03. tree forts
04. baseball cards
::3 boys/girls You wanna Kiss::
01. Jax
02. chris o connor or karl haha
03. my little nephew
::2 Of Your Favorite Songs At This Moment::
01. story of the year - until the day i die
02. Boy's night out - i got punched in the nose for sticking my nose in other peoples business
::1 Person You Could Spend the Rest of Your Life With::
LiL Jackie Behr - call me crazy but its true, im so in love with this girl youll never even know, and is the only person i could actually stand being around for the rest of my life...plus give me some oc and his thinking and that will be just great.
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Wednesday, October 1st, 2003
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| Subject: | hiiiiii |
| Time: | 11:10 pm. |
| Mood: |  thoughtful. | | Music: | Keepsake - Black Dress in a B Movie. |
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my names alarm i go off at 8:20 but I shut it off and wind up waking up at 9:15 and miss my class. oh well. i have gay psychology class from 12-230 soon and i am bored.
i got some hot clothes from karl yesterday. it was good hangin with him. i heard clips from 2 new songs hes writing. seriously just wait, they are really good. saturday is going to fuckin rule. and thats all there is to that. well time to go. bye.
:A nice surprise, a cocaine high, every boys dream its worth a try
:Angles and shots, rock candy pop, a clorax dip, a culture shock
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Monday, September 22nd, 2003
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please tell me what to go to school for before i die trying
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Saturday, September 20th, 2003
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well i am really tired right now yet for some reason i was bored enough to make a cub run where i proceeded to get a 12 pack of 7-up and ..oreo cookies which is a weird combination but they looked good so i had to get em, they were calling my name and i couldnt let them down. i have eaten like 3 and am already sick of them. yeah it happens. on the way home some dumbass decided to run a stop sign...and guess who was right down the other road? *makes a siren noise* yea wha wha what you gonna do kid when the po-po get you. cops have nothing else better to do at 2am than sit around and watch for lil drunkies to run lights and stop signs, but wait dude come on ...no ones out this late at night no one will see me so just do it ... i just laughed and sleepily made my way home. earlier in the night after i had gotten home from work i thought i was going to wind up doing nothing, with no call from oc, waltmann washed ashore and jax out some place i conversed with preston online where we made fun of each other for like 30 min about why were online on a friday night. then the man of the hour signs online...you wait for times like these to look at the buddy list and see the name "WreckOfHope" none other than karl "skittles" kittelson. him and konur wanted to go "break" things tonight and i was just in the mood for food. went to wendys and the usual fags were up there by their cars, talked to a few of the worthy ones and ate my food then followed konur and karl around. so while driving down elm creek blvd with them at my side...for some reason connor was driving 30 in a 45....so i stayed by his side cuz some car behind me was riding my ass so i was like fine im gonna drive slow. and then i look in the rearview mirror and i see the hazard lights go on...and i was like ok no one does that but waltmann, and i wasnt totally sure yet so i sped up a little and karl and connor kept driving like 40...then the windshield wipers went on so i was like alright thats waltmann and i was excited. then we got up closer to target and i switched lanes and the "waltmann" car started gaining on me...i look over my shoulder to see a silver car...and i was like whhat evan? but nope...it was none other than L-I-L J-A_C-K-I-E!! hahaha it was hilarious, a very good surprise. apparently she had been honking at me for like 10 min but i had throwdown up too loud. oop. connor and karl turned and i got stuck going straight, didnt have their cell number and wasnt about to detour and hope i find them so i made my way to jax's for a good way to end my night. i love karl i love connor and i love jackie.
these oreos are bitter and my neck is hurting. time for bed. sleep til 2. k like 11. goodnight. <3 Bribar.
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Friday, September 19th, 2003
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raaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrr you know what really sucks? traffic and trying to deliver pizzas in it. nothing pisses me off more than something that gets in my way and sets me back from the things i need or need to get done. such as im delivering a pizza and you are going 5 mph around a corner so i miss the damn green light cuz your slow ass wouldnt speed up and that made the cars behind you move slower leading me to get stuck way at the back waiting for another 5 min at the light when i should have made the light and would have been back to the store taking more deliveries making more money. but noooo gotta sightsee downtown maple grove and point and drive slow (dot dot dot)... do not drive through maple grove between the hours of 4 and 7pm, dumbest people ever are out and itll take you twice as long to get places but i spose people gotta go out around those times, sorry i just hate slow drivers i wanna throw shit at their cars...no i dont have road rage, this is normal to have these feelings when speed limits say 40 mph and theyre driving 35 its like ........ but i just wanted to look at all those new stores and stare at them while i drive sloww, guess what get out of my way i got things to do.
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Thursday, September 18th, 2003
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| Subject: | bribarion |
| Time: | 1:24 pm. |
| Mood: |  bouncy. | | Music: | NEHEMIAH --- LIVE AT THE PRACTICE SPACE. |
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ok so what the fuck is up kids. yeah good mood right now. i like good moods. i just talked my little girl to sleep and after that ohhhh guess whos got a show lined up....UH OH
wereeee baaacckk!!! hehehahahahhehehah
4LL @the fallout on Wednesday November 19th
the judas cradle
nodes of ranvier
4LL (feat. Karl on Guitar)
+1 TBA
$6 kid!
6PM
guess what...youre coming.
sorry no questions asked.
you know about it so far in advance theres no reason not to go
and we might even have shirts by then
how fortunate for you!
P.S. STAY TUNED FOR A NEW JOURNAL TO COME SOON. B/4LL/JAX? ME NO KNOW WAIT AND SEE ;)
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Sunday, September 14th, 2003
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i dont even care to go to many shows anymore unless its a band that i really like...so yeah heres the ones coming up..see you there or not.
september 23rd = every time i die @ ascot room
October 4th = taking back sunday and saves the day @ quest prolly wont go but o well
october 16th = fall out boy in the ascot room...and hell yea this is goin to rule
october 23rd = boys night out in ascot room
november 6th = the bled, fairweather, give up the ghost @ the triple rock
NOVEMBER 7TH = FALL OUT BOY AND YELLOWCARD!@!!! QUEST !
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Friday, September 12th, 2003
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john waltmann
chris o conner
conwar
skittles
faust
choad
dan p
josh luttergaids
ricardo
brandinio
ridthedisease
whether you like it or not i miss you all so terribly.
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Friday, September 5th, 2003
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sometimes i just wish i had different qualities about myself, i wish i could be different sometimes, i wish i had the right answers to everything, i wish i always knew what to say to everyone about anything and at anytime. i kinda realized that i am really fucking annoying. if i wasnt annoying id probably never have much to say though and if be the most boring person ever then i really wouldnt be anywhere. i try my hardest to be the best person i can possibly be and i try to do everything right all the time and make the people around me happy or in a better mood. although it seems like everything i say always comes out wrong or is really the dumbest thing anyones ever heard cuz most of it never makes much sense so that leads me to being...well...annoying. i dont know where im going with this i just wish i could do everything right all the time ugh sorry to anyone that thinks im dumb or annoying or anything. im going to go find a place to sit and not move for quite sometime. yep i am a baby but that comes along with the ticket to be around brian. cool.
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Monday, September 1st, 2003
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Girl On Top
What Sexual Position Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
yeah oc, waltmann, karl, and connor....i want to fucking hang out. right now. lets stop being gay and do stuff. no lil wait til the show on saturday. i miss you guys. "but im kinda scared to call that gay kid" ..calll meeee .. me boed!~!!
yep i use my journal to tell me friends i miss them
thats what brian nagans do
o_O
sometimes i wish i was really tough so then when random people talk shit and i get angry...bribar can dish out a beat down but who am i kiddin instead i just take it and wish i could do something. oh well.
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Sunday, August 31st, 2003
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you are patrick! a little guy with a big voice, you
rock out majorly on stage. you take a lot of
crap for being little, but you know everyone
loves you to death. you seem to have alot of
knowledge when it comes to music.
which member of Fall Out Boy are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
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Tuesday, August 26th, 2003
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my names friends and i never call brian. seems like they all disappeared or found better things to do with their time. (tears...) so much for my bowling team this fall...
saw OC today and it felt good to see that kid. gave him a good huge and we were off on our ways. waltmann is bein waltmann and just does his little one week disappearance acts, but he will be back next week im sure, but with his new game gear game to try and win i dont know if he will have much time, oh well im use to it. lets just hope its not another game over. when you start seeing your nephew more than your friends then you know youre in for it, oh well it happens. and i know ill get the "KID, MAN I HAVE BEEN BUSY, RELAX" speech or a phone call the next day "Hello? Hey man. Hi. what are you doing? driving. okay cool. what are you doing? i got soccer. okay call me later then. see ya." never calls back................................................................................................................................ but at least i can look forward to practices to see my friends. yay..
yeah i have like 5 friends total. o well. my fault i suppose. as long as they got my back. and my best friend always has it too. ;)
show on saturday sept 6th at segue...starts at 2 pm with 8 bands. were playing , so go. you have nothing more important to do anyways.
if anything is going to kill me someday its all going to be because of worrying, stress and or not paying attention while driving.
havent wrote anything in awhile but thats just cuz i dont make it a point to do this every night so people can pick apart my everyday life. i could honestly care less about this but am bored and need to pass time, although i could be sleeping right now yeah ill contradict myself some more, k cool.
main thing that has happened lately was the starting line concert or shall i say the "drive-thru" invasion tour, i wouldnt call it much of an invasion more like a short set lets hurry so we can see the starting line play and have no one appreciate them cuz weve never been to a concert before and arent quite sure if we should talk or stand and wonder whats going on. every band played like 20 minute sets and senses fail opened so we missed half their set and the only mic shot potential band there cuz the lines were so long. yeah it was hot as fuck in there and it was covered with a million little kids so little they didnt know who the band poison was...or black eyed peas. hmm great. wait um but i saw TSL's new video on MTV yesterday hehehe. okay ill stop. The show was really hot but that made it a million times more fun. I honestly didnt think it was going to be that great cuz i had seen TSL b4 and i wasnt even gonna buy tickets to the show if i hadnt have won them, but i am glad i wound up going.
waltmann backed out of our routinely show going experiences to do what...? oh yeah that stuff that never happened, cool. well its alright cuz i brought my little baby and i prolly had a lot more fun with her than i ever would have imagined it to be. i even got to attempt to go get a mic shot but oh the kids could barely hold people up and someone punched me in the balls. so instead me and jax got into the middle and got hot and wild. she was goin crazy and was showin kids who was boss, yet she kept grabbing my hand and putting it on random peoples asses....but it was funny, and i cant help but admit i loved the attention she gave me. saw webster there and we threw water on some girls, we thought it was hilarious but it wasnt that cool. so in conclusion the show was great and i left there drenched in sweat and water that jackie had poured all over me, but she was drenched too so it was all good. k enough of all that.
well today yes today was like the longest day ever of the summer and it was one of the best. got a wake up call at 7am from jax and the only reason she called was indeed to wake brians lazy little ass up and it worked for a lil then i went back to bed okay this story is going nowhere...
so in short i went to her house at like 9 am and was there all day long, way longer than i expected, in the morning i was tired and crabby but once i got some yummy food in me i was all good to go, well once it digested. played lots of fun games with my girl, climbed a tree, learned to do cart wheels kinda..talked for hours and did my best to distract her so i could stay longer, gathered up some of her school supplies but most importantly the ruler and had lots of fun like i always do.
once i left there i met up with LiL Philly and pernula and we went to the great "calson gap" off of carlson parkway in plymouth/minnetonka cuz phil was going to jump it on his skateboard. it is like a 10 foot grass gap that has been tried by many and failed by all so phil had plans to throw this down. took him a good 30 min to even commit to trying it. once he tried it he landed on his board and fell hard, and the next 5 times he fell as well but then he landed it and it was sweet as hell. we lit up the spot with our car headlights and it looked huge as hell on film. all the people working there didnt even care we were there and didnt bother to kick us out. it was tight. it was good to be back on my skateboard again. p.s. i cant wait for winter .
well i switched all my classes and am now taking E.M.T. at the hopkins technical school on monday and wednesday mornings, so basically i will learn how to take care of people when they get injured and can learn a bunch of life saving shit that will help me in the future. i can ride around in ambulances and stuff and itll be tight. its only like 23 credits so i can finish that this year and learn some new skills and then do something different in the fall and if all goes well i got a plan and i hope it works. i take some general classes on thursdays from 9am - 2 and then no school for me on tuesdays and fridays :).
heres a life lesson for you all: no matter what you do or what another person does...its always going to be your fault, somehow and someway it can always tie back into being your fault. so dont ever try to blame other people for things, just learn to accept it.
also people out there, dont put words in my mouth or other peoples mouths cuz theres nothing more annoying than other people speaking for you. sometimes its good when it is what youre thinking but when youre not then the eyes go a rollin in the back of da head.
p.s. OC is always right about everything
lyric for today...
"I was born at a time when you earned respect/
For the rhyme and the way you made words connect/
Not the money that you made or the girls you sexed/
A concept you obviously haven't heard of yet/
I did more shows in a month than you did in your life/
Ate gas station food, stayed up late nights/
And realized that I'd travel anywhere for mics.../"
-marsILL
this was a rushed lazy entry i am too tired and have been writing lots of lyrics lately
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Friday, August 22nd, 2003
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well i won 2 tickets to the drive thru records invasion tour on sunday night but oh i have to work so i dont know if ill be able to go but my manager was talking as if she didnt care if i didnt come into work so oh well i probably just wont. who wants to go with me..cuz im not going alone.
yeah i started school and it is already gay. why did i do advertising art and design, i dont even like that and its hard as hell to get a job in that field. what made me realize i was wasting my time is when my illustrator teacher told me that she once went to henn tech to do the graphic design field or whatever in like 1983 or so when there werent even computers yet..she would up working a few internship jobs and 20 years later she is teaching the same stuff she went to school for...wow great job you have now..teaching the same field u went to school for. you know that little light at the end of the tunnel, yeah i cant really see it too well. i need to figure out what shit to take and get out of this crap. but o well at least im going to school, right? ...
i got the new mars ill cd and it is off the chains with goodness. yeah its hip-hop and yeah i dont normally listen to hip hop and yeah some people think hip hop is gay but i dont know theres something about these guys that make it good to listen to. the beats are sweet and they dont rap about fuckin girls drinkin 40's or swearing about their homies. its all good shit and i suggest you all go listen to them, it flows and its soothing to your little soul. yeah i wasted my time with that little speech about brian and his secret love for hip hop o god, yea maybe ill tell u about my secret love for my other good music. yea maybe some other day.
welp ME B-O-E-D BORED. so time to go do nothing, maybe watch the DC skate video and wish i was good. or just sleep, hell im not gonna sleep, well..bye.
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Wednesday, August 20th, 2003
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If You Can Feel What I'm Feeling Then It's A Musical Masterpiece
If You Can Hear What I'm Dealing With Then That's Cool At Least
*What's Running Through My Mind Comes Through In My Walk
True Feelings Are Shown From The Way That I Talk*
And This Is Me Y'All, I M.C. Y'All
My Name Is M.C.A. And I Still Do What I Please
And Now I'd Like To Introduce what's up?
I'll Pass The Mic To D. For A Fist Full Of Truth
The Name Is D. Y'All And I Don't Play
And I Can Rock A Block Party 'Til Your Hair Turns Grey
So, What You Sayin'? I Explode On Site
I'm Like Jimmy Walker I'm Dynomite
And Now I'd Like To Pass The Mic
To Adrock C'mon And Do Anything You Like
I'm The A.D.R.O.C.K.
In The Place With The Bass I'm Going All The Way
I Can't Stop Y'All Tock Tick Y'All
And If You Think That You're Slick You'll Catch A Brick Y'All
'Cause I'm A Turn It In And I'm A Turn It Out
But Now I've Got To Pass The Mic To Yauch
Well On And On And On And On I Can't Stop Y'All 'Til The Early Morn'
So Rock Rock Y'All Tick Tock Y'All To The Beat Y'All
C'mon And Rock Y'All
I Give Thanks For Inspiration It Guides My Mind Along The Way
A Lot Of People Get Jealous, They're Talking About Me
But That's Just 'Cause They Haven't Got A Thing To Say
Everybody's Rapping Like It's A Commercial
Actin' Like Life Is A Big Commercial
So This Is What I've Got To Say To You All
Be True To Yourself And You Will Never Fall
And Now I'd Like To Pass The Mic To The A
So What's Your Name, Yauch? My Name Is M.C.A.
I've Been Coming To Where I Am From The Get Go
Find That I Can Groove With The Beat When I Let Go
So Put Your Worries On Hold
Get Up And Groove With The Rhythm In Your Soul
And Now I'd Like To Pass The Mic
To My Brother Adrock C'mon And Shine Like A Light
Yes Yes Y'All And Yes Yes Y'All
I'm Always On Time Never The Less Y'All
And That's Right Y'All, I Shed Light Y'All
I've Got No Time In My Life To Get Uptight Y'All
So What You Gonna Say That I Don't Know Already?
I'm Like Clyde And I'm Rockin' Steady
But Time Flies When You're Having Fun
So Mike D That's Me C'mon And Get Some
M.I.K.E. To The D.
You Come And See Me And You Pay A Fee
Do What I Do Professionally
To Tell The Truth I Am Exactly What I Want To Be
Now Ad-Rock Huh? And M.C.A. Yeh?
Let's Rock This Joint In The Old School Way
Well I'm On 'Til The Crack Of Dawn
Mowing Down M.C.'s Like I'm Mowing A Lawn
I Go Off Like Nothing Can Phase Me
You Think We'll Ever Meet Stevie? One Of These Days, D.
But I Can Stand My Ground And I Am Down
To Wax An M.C. Who Acts Like A Clown
But For Now, I'd Like To Ask You How
You Like The Feel Of The Bass In Your Face In The Crowd
...wow i just typed these lyrics while listening to the song and got sent home early from work cuz they dont like me, but i guess i cant complain..sigh.
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Sunday, August 17th, 2003
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dude, everyone, stop right now and listen to everythin i got to say.
im so fuckin hyper and so happy i wanna dance around in circles out in the middle of my street and sing songs that no one normally would sing along to. right now i feel like i got a mic in my hand and am givin mic shots to the crowd while everyones cheering and singing along. try and tell me thats not a good feeling, i dare you. cuz it is the best feeling and thats what im feeling right now and more than ever..but no im not feeling this cuz im giving myself imaginary mic shots in my bedroom...hmmm...well then why would brian feel like this...umm..ok ok fine ill give you a tiny clue..it starts with a J and its not john waltmann...i know this might take you awhile but lemme know if you ever figure it out
well me and my main cat oc found this super cool new spot to chill, its this crazy bridge that was built in like 1885 out in hanover its so old cival war soldiers have crossed it at one point in time. yeah i bet you wonder how i knew that..yep me researched..supposedly the place is haunted which makes it a million times cooler. theres a creepy 5 story old hotel looking thing right next to it and theres always like 20 cars there but rarely do you see anyone. and apparently there was a car crash at the bridge a long time ago where 4 people died and there has been citings of a "ghost" car driving by at night and if you stand in the middle of the bridge you can feel chills like of the car drivin by. and when i went out there the other night i honestly did feel the chills it was weird but so damn cool, and the moon all shines down on the water and makes it look cool, yeah only i think these things are cool so if u dont its okay... but it me secret spot hehehehe. next song idea? oh yeah me too.
well if you havent heard the latest buzz chiming in your ears..brian is really happy and feels very secure...why? yeah i spose you are wondering why...well lets see here my friends, yep my friends..they are the shit as in they are the coolest kids ever and im very fortunate to know them and have them in my life..no seriously these kids are the shit but they are in some band called.. man i dont even know what they are called anymore but i heard they kicked out the vocalist and they got some new singer now...hahah. wow no one gets it. me either. shrug. okay and the 2nd thing ohh this one is the best one yet it gets up there at the top of my list so high its off the charts!! i wouldnt have her any other way, seriously NO other way, every single damn thing about her i love so much and there are not enough words to describe how great she is, how special she is and how gooood i feel. me crazy? hellll no kid. found the girl i never thought was even possible of finding.. thats right kid i did. and try and tell me im not happy...no everyone try. please do try. but im warning you if u do then me might get a lil rough and walk all over your assumptions. i dont like assuptions and assumers cuz when you assume it makes an ass out of you and an ass out of me! hahaha get it? that spells assume.. whew that was dumb. okay this needs to be said..i smell so damn good right now!!! and its not the smell of me thats on me...hmmm? yum yum yummmmy. wait when it was 11:11...what did you wish for? nah im just curious..wait was it the same thing someone else wished..oh oopsie thats what i did. and it gonna come true. and no telling brian hes wrong, because believe me... im never wrong. me always right and me always got answers to everything, and if i dont have an answer im prolly just too tired to talk. like this tired...-_- see hes tired. but im not really tired right now. im talking as if im on those laughing drugs or something.
yeah we play a show tomorrow and im really excited for it now. we are gonna be drop dead hot and are gonna rock the fuck out so everyone should go...
6pm are doors..6$ and me and my crew will be there
@ the triple rock club
629 cedar avenue.
so take 94 into downtown and exit at the 4th and 7th st exits i think it is or maybe its 5th...butits the exit that takes you into downtown like by the quest and garage c...and at that stoplight take a left..then go up to the 2nd light which will be washington avenue and turn right onto it. follow that all the way down and stay in the right lane...that'll wrap around to cedar avenue and then follow that up and triple rock is down on the left like the very last building on that road i think. youll see it.
\\GET THERE EARLY CUZ WE OPEN//
shit i said so much stuff time to go be lazy...byeeee.
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Thursday, August 14th, 2003
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Wednesday, August 13th, 2003
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holy shit im in a good mood now, and all it took was an old throwdown video. it included mic shots, head walking, and simple aggro as fuck straight edge hardcore. now i wanna play a show and swing the mic at your face. im ready to rock. lets go baby. sunday.
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looking at these lil foxes face expressions make me smile, just look at them, they are so cute, yes animated foxes on th computer are cute, oh man
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you know that feeling when it feels like your chest is burning inside and your neck has the tingle in your throat like youre about to throw up or something. i hate that feeling and thats what i feel like now for some reason. i cant even play mario kart right. its the easiest game ever yet i run into every bananna get hit by every car, usually lil toads "yippies" in that game make me smile but he sucked today and made me lose or maybe it was my fault, ah of course it was. i dont like video games and i dont like medicine. time for work. cool.
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sweet the stitches in the back of my mouth have torn and now are bleeding like crazy and wont stop so i might have to go back and get them re stitched so they heal right, fuck this. my medicine does not work and isnt helping at all and wears off in what feels like instantly, it upsets my stomach makes my head hurt and makes me feel like im high. raaarrrrr
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turndownbribar's journal
sleepy.
angry.
awake.
cheerful.
anxious.